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Archive for August, 1986

Misty, mist-tinted green

August 22nd, 1986

Morning breakfast at the Harvest Hilton with strawberries and waffle and a blue sky surrounded by aspens and wisps of white clouds–flatiron hills and a white-skirted tennis player and warm sunlight and cool air and I comfortable and Dave the waiter and a bird flinging itself through space. Fresh-squeezed orange juice and cold water and the green of the trees, the blue of the sky. A red rose and a pink rose and a white rose in the garden.

How strong does one want the connections to be–how imperative, necessary, bearing, binding–?–
So much so that nothing else can be done–?–
I don’t think so–but still the effort is to approach this.

Nietzsche set down thoughts in his notebook–toward a philosophy, toward a transvaluation of all values.

Like a squirrel climbing a tree, like cold water in a crystal glass, like a peppermint in the morning, mint tea.

Misty, mist-tinted green.

“A labyrinthian man never seeks the truth but always only his own Ariadne–whatever he may tell us” (XIV, 22) Nietzsche.

Nietzsche: a combination of just saying things and being critical, careful, analytical: candor and carefulness.

“Existential” experimentation, versuchen, trying–in the world of thought, sensations, tested in action–living–increased his range, scope, insight. Substantiate probability, sundry observations.

Baffled and startled cliffs and postures
Benches and books and porticoes and breasts
A woman wondering what to believe
A woman proud and sure of something
A woman pausing with pleasant contemplation
A woman asking how it could have been done (some transgression).

Venus pointing to a better way
With a vulnerable lovely face
An angel pointing past the book
And Mary saying “wait a minute, let me think”
A maiden suspended in the wind
White Castle nestled in the soft corner of the picture

She is waiting, steady, full-breasted, pleased–

A dance and a flourish–suspense

“I’m not trying to change the world.
I’m not looking for a New England.
I’m just looking for another girl.”

This summer I decided not to be a lawyer. And I decided to try and become an English Professor. In between the two there was nothing because I am locked financially. I have the idea that I need both to know what I am doing next and that it somehow contribute to my overall progress.

Travel–the big romantic activity in my mind– Art, and foreign people– Landscape, Vista–Sleep–Food–

For a hobby: preparing classes, lectures–topics–

Overcoming this sleepiness–but being awake to something worthwhile.

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